I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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