..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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