I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
