So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
