Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
