woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
