McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
