The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
