Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
