What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
