I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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