i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
