Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
