brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
