Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
