a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
