so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
