Got a toothbrush?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
