So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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