It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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