either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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