I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
