Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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