Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
