her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We smell like vodka and hangover
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
