I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
even my farts smell like vagina
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
