And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
do herpes really smell.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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