New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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