If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
