Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
