News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
