you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
