3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
