I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
