Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
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