the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
vagina is talking i cant
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I believe in your delicious
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
