How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
