She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
