Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
