He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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