He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
is that a dick in a sweater?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm both gender and math confused
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
