I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no you cant smoke seaweed
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
