he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
