just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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