plz talk dirty to me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
