And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
