we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
