I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
