I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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