too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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