you guys were way drunker than both of me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
