Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Oh god it's open bar.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
