If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
